| wow right now there's gloom...yea all of a sudden i'm happy listening to a favorite song and then i'm sad, weirdly sad, almost crying just cause of something silly so no need to worry peeps...its just this whole college thing arg like this dude in my class has all these plans after high school to go to New York, the big apple, the fabulous city, to go to a design school and live in new york...and then he asks, so thais were are you applying...and then i feel sad when i say im gona do graphic design at UT, UH, Sam Houston, or Commerce and he's going to New York to an actual DESIGN school....wow iono why but i want more, like i wana fly out into the world and discover myself in it, discovering how to be successful, and even fail first to learn how to be successful or you know, like...wow i hav no idea....but i do feel better after blabing it out...im just jealous of him cause he seems like the kind of person who has everything - the outgoing personality, the big fantastic looking plan (mainly cause im a romantic so everything in my eyes always seems so movie like), and me what plans do i have.......................... i guess i just want all the plans to come to me NOW you know? like im not patient for personal growth.... i wana go to new york *cry cry* but not really cause that city is huge! and then i think, wow i wouldnt survive in new york, and then i think i wished i were stronger....arg....but then im like no i gota look at my good qualities but cant help to wana be like him, i guess we all feel like that at a point right? goodness *sigh* but then texas isnt bad for graphic advertisement right?...nothing like california or new york for it though....wow california...wished distance wanst sucha problem....and then ppl r like, why not??? well my mom freaks out at the thought of me going to Austin...so imagine me going up to her and saying - "Mom, I wana go study in California"...she will look at me...and i cant even imagine what will happen next....it'll never get serious , i mean , because of that I can't even make myself believe that i could wana go to california....guess it would be easier if i had family there....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.............. iono i guess i could transfer to california later....always later...i feel so little....why do seniors always look so matture and ready when we see them but when we turn into them its like i dont feel like one at all??? i mean sure i'm labeled a senior but my mind isn't a senior one....i guess that comes with not driving yet... starting drivers ed on the 17th though, yea i know, LATE, but u know, iono no comment on that...............wow iono and then i wana talk to her about her overprotectness but how do u talk abou that.....without turning it into a fight....
tachy |
